Rowan Khanna: In Memoriam
by SwordGold
Summary: Written in memory of Rowan Khanna, a light that will forever shine on through the darkness till the very end. (Please note that this contains HEAVY SPOILERS for Hogwarts Mystery Year 6 Chapters 18 and 19)
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, my wonderful readers and fellow Potterheads, _

_As those who have been playing Hogwarts Mystery up to the most recent two chapters, you, like myself might still be mourning the unexpected and tragic loss of dear friend Rowan Khanna. If you didn't know about this then oops, my bad, (but, in my defence, I did add a spoiler warning in my summary so it's not really my fault ...) _

_Anyway, this is set post-Rowan's death (I still can't believe that's a term now) with all the grief and trauma of loss included. It was difficult for me to write this as I am still contemplating her death, but I hope that this helps you while memorialising the significance of a life brutally cut short by the cruel forces of evil ..._

_Yours truly,_

_Sword Gold. _

* * *

_In memory of Rowan Khanna:_

_'A bright light that will forever shine through the darkness till the very end.'_

* * *

**Week One: Stay with Me**

"_Finally_, Ben. I was really starting to get worried … Bethany?" Charlie blinked, rubbing his still slightly bloodshot eyes as if to make sure that he wasn't imagining things. "Is that you? What … what are you doing here?"

"I can't do it," I stammered softly. "I can't go up there …" I bit down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying. Charlie frowned, swinging out of bed before reality seemed to dawn upon him and he rushed to my side.

"Hey, hey, it's okay …"  
"It's not though," I sobbed, tears pricking my eyes as I buried my face into his bare chest. "Her things are still there, Charlie … Like they're waiting for her to come back and she's ... Oh, _Merlin_ …" I trailed off, unable to continue as he took me in his arms.

"Shh … I know," I could tell by the slight quiver in his voice that he too was fighting back tears. "I know …"

We stayed like that for what seemed to last for an eternity, the only sounds being my muffled crying and Jae's snoring.

"It doesn't seem right," I whimpered, "Every time I open that door I keep expecting to see her even though …"  
_She's dead_, went the unsaid.

"Stay here then."

Charlie's chin lightly rubbed the top of my head with such affection that it made me tingle all over.

He had said it so gently that I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly. Charlie squeezed my shoulder, letting go of me briefly to rummage through his trunk before he took out one of his old sweaters.

"Here," he said, watching me hesitate with a weak smile as he handed it to me.

"Don't worry, I won't look. My mum raised me to be a gentleman after all."

I felt the slightest shadow of what could have been a smile tug at the corner of my lips as he turned the other way and I wordlessly complied by removing my crumpled uniform and replacing it with his sweater that was several sizes too big for me, so big in fact, it looked more like a one-piece than a jumper. As I looked at myself flapping those long sleeves in the nearby mirror I couldn't help but inhale his scent that seemed to wrap around me, feeling much more at ease.

Charlie waited patiently with his back turned and eyes shut until I gave him the all-clear. When he did finally turn to see me, his eyes kept drifting back and forth between his trunk, and me, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to say what was on his mind. I wiped back a few of my tears before I managed a smile.

"What? Do I look weird in this?"

Charlie coughed into his fist.

"No, you look great," he murmured softly before abruptly changing the subject, "Which side do you want?"

I could still see the tips of his ears turning red in the dim candlelight but I decided not to comment.

"I don't mind," I said, trying to roll up my sleeves but they kept falling down.

"Allow me."

He took me by the wrist and carefully rolled up the sleeves. His droopy eyelashes tempered his steely looks, adding to his characteristically boyish charm.

"And … done," he smiled, his hand still holding my wrist before he guided me towards the bed. He pulled back the duvet, tucking me in like a small child before he soon followed suit. It was a tight fit. The single poster-bed made it impossible to lie down without brushing against some part of one another. From his chest brushing my breast to my hip rubbing against his abdomen … all I knew was that I needed him to be close and he complied, wrapping me in his embrace as he ran his fingers soothingly through my hair as if he were trying to reassure a restless Niffler. I took a deep breath, leaning into the arms that encircled around my waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Charlie?" I said after a while, my voice still hoarse from crying.

"Hmm?"

"Don't leave me."  
Charlie flashed me one of his heart-melting smiles before he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Not in a million years."

* * *

_Everybody deals with grief in their own ways so I thought that I'd add some of what I think Charlie and Jacob's sibling's friendship during Hogwarts would have been like. _

_I hope you enjoyed it!_

_xoxo - S.G. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: So, ever since experiencing the recent two chapters I've been asking myself the same two questions: _

_1) Why Rowan? and 2) Where the fuck was our brother? _

_If it weren't already obvious, I really hope that they have a confrontation between Jacob and his sibling in the next coming chapters. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Hogwarts Mystery. If I did then Rowan wouldn't have died in the first place ..._

* * *

**Week Two: On My Own**

* * *

"Jacob? Where've you been? Do you have any idea how _worried _I've ..."

"Oh, cheer up, Pip." Jacob smiled. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

He reached out to ruffle my hair but I sidestepped at the last minute, still refusing to look at him.

"Aw, come on. Lighten up." He said, "The assassin's on the run, meaning that those Dementors are gone now, not to mention you've officially been released from castle-arrest. Blimey, Pip. You should be celebrating not sulking in this dingy old room …"

"Rowan's dead."  
Jacob blinked, "Wait, what?"  
"My best mate. Rakepick … she murdered her right in front of me, Jacob." I trailed off, averting my gaze to the floor again.

"What? Rakepick did?" his jaw fell slack as he ran a hand over his shaven scalp in disbelief. "Merlin's Beard … so the Daily Prophet wasn't lying? Blimey, Pip, I had no idea …"  
"Where were you?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Where. Were. You?" I repeated, glaring at him.

Jacob hesitated, studying my steeling expression before he raised an eyebrow.

"Pip … you don't honestly think that I …"

"No more nicknames, not until you tell me the truth," I replied, folding my arms across my chest.

Jacob didn't respond.

"Seriously, Jacob. We used to tell each other everything. Why won't you trust me?"  
"Because that was then and this is now, alright?" he raised his voice, half-expecting me to shrink back but I didn't. Not this time.

"Jacob, my best friend was _murdered_. Rakepick tried to kill me. I almost _died_!"

I put emphasis on each sentence; my voice shaking with barely contained rage as new tears pricked my eyes.

I could feel the saltwater begin to stream down my face. This time I didn't fight it. It was perhaps the first time that I had truly cried without trying to stop it …

"Pip, I …"

"No. Don't you 'Pip' me … you should have been _here_, with me, your _family_."

"I've been protecting you!" he snapped, his Adam's apple throbbing as he spoke.

"Then where the _fuck,_ were you?" I shouted back just as loudly.

"You … you wouldn't understand …"

"Oh yeah? Try me."

Jacob sighed, thrusting both hands up in the air in a sign of defeat.

"Look, Pip … I get that you're mad …"  
"Mad?" I let out a snort, "Mad was two _vaults_ ago, Jacob. Mad was when you disappeared without a trace. Heck, mad was when I bloody _saved_ you and not only did you abandon me but you also forced me to lie to our mother who still thought that you were _dead_! Merlin's _beard_, Jacob! I am _way _beyond mad."

"You don't understand. You're my baby sister. It's my job to look out for you …"  
"It's _our_ job to look out for _each other_!" I retorted.

"Look, you're upset and clearly not thinking straight right now …"  
"I found the quills," I replied, lowering my voice as I spoke. "I found the letters from 'R' addressed to you."

Jacob froze, surprise flitting over his face for the first time before his expression darkened ever so slightly.

"I don't know what you're on about …" he started but I cut him off.

"Don't lie to me, Jacob. I saw the notes. And besides," I added somewhat ruefully, "You're not the only one who knows Legilimency."

Jacob glowered, running another frustrated hand over his crew cut before stuffing them back into the pockets of his jacket.

"Look, I really am sorry about your friend, but you have to understand that I'm doing what's best for you."  
"Shouldn't I get to decide that?"

"Pip …"  
He hesitated again, eyes clouded with a myriad of intangible emotions as I took another step backwards.

"You know, I really thought that you were doing this for me," I whispered quietly, "But now? I'm not so sure."  
Jacob pinched the bridge of his nose before he let out a long sigh.

"I … I'll see you around, yeah?" he said eventually.

I shook my head as I watched him slip out into the corridor before I slid down the wall, hugging my knees to my chest.

Never had I felt so alone.

* * *

_Urgh, I really wish Jacob would give us a straight-forward answer but that's clearly never been his strong suit ... _

_Not to worry, more angst and emotions to come. _

_\- S.G. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Our third week of grief is probably the longest so far._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Hogwarts Mystery. _

* * *

**Week Three: Here Amongst the Trees**

* * *

The Knight Bus screeched to an eventual halt amidst the squeals of rubber skidding across old asphalt and the guttural wheeze of a dying engine.

I sat up, craning my neck to look out of the still partially frosted-over window. The Khanna Farms stretched out in nothing but endless acres of dense woodland for as far as the eye could see.

I gulped, pretending to admire its vastness all whilst still ignoring the brown, worried eyes that had been watching me intently ever since we'd left Hogsmeade Station.

"We should get going," I finally managed, breaking the silence that hung rancid in the air as I slowly stood up.

Charlie nodded, wordlessly helping me down the bus' narrow steps before shouldering Rowan's old school trunk. It was still hard to believe that she'd been unpacking it a few months ago, and using it last week …

I shivered, palms still trembling as I glanced back over my shoulder to where our precious cargo was carefully being lowered down from the bus by the elderly conductor; its smooth mahogany lid catching the early morning light so that it glistened almost amber in the sun.

"Thanks," Charlie smiled; his voice uncharacteristically dull as he paid the purple-plaided wizard. The conductor inclined his head knowingly.

"You kids take good care o' yerselves, yeh 'ear me?"

We nodded, watching as the engine revved back to life before the bus quickly disappeared over the horizon in a blur of purple, leaving nothing behind but a Streeler trail of smoke in its wake.

"You didn't have to come with me," I mumbled; heart panging with guilt as I ducked my head. "You should be back at Hogwarts looking after your brothers …"

"Right now, I'm exactly where I need to be," he replied, "And that's with _you_."

Our gazes met for a tantalisingly charged moment and it was only then I truly got the chance to properly look him over since our trip had begun.

His features were shallow and more drawn, emphasising his already sharp cheekbones and his face was paler than usual.

He continued to hold my gaze, long enough that, in different circumstances being under the scrutiny of such a look would have made me blush, but this was different.

Charlie's eyes were slightly swollen and red around the rims; a dull shadow of what they normally were, as he seemed to study my face just as carefully.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I hesitated, averting my eyes to look back at the coffin of my best friend and bit back a silent sob.

Charlie sighed, leaning over my shoulder to follow my gaze and I squeezed my eyes shut; willing the horrible reality of it all to go away, if only for a moment.

It was only when I felt the sudden warmth of his fingers lacing with my own did I open them again to see his gentle smile.

His touch acted like a Patronus: temporarily banishing grief's icy grasp over my heart and I felt a surge of strength rush from our intertwined hands throughout the rest of my body.

"I'm ready."

* * *

We walked down the winding road that cut between the towering Wiggentrees, very carefully wheeling both casket and trunk around the various potholes until we reached a tall iron gate. I had always imagined Rowan being the one to take me to see the tree farm where she'd grown up at. It could almost picture it now: her dark eyes brimming with barely contained excitement, shining behind her glasses as she would pull me along and animatedly recount every type of wand wood that they had ever harvested completely off by heart, all whilst bouncing on the balls of her heels.

I let out a small sigh, the metallic clang of the gate swinging inwards startling me back to reality as a middle-aged couple approached us and I froze.

It was Rowan's parents.

* * *

"Ah, welcome, welcome! Dumbledore's owl told us that we should be expecting you." Rowan's mother beamed, a slight forcefulness to her tone as she ushered us through. "You, my dear, must be the famous Bethany! Come, come – my eyesight's _awful_." She smiled. "Let me get a better look at you …"

Her eyes sparkled behind her thick glasses, "Beautiful; just as I always pictured. Why I feel like I already know you by the way my daughter always talks …" she faltered, glancing anxiously at her husband before she corrected herself. "I mean, 'talked' about you so much."

Her voice wavered ever so slightly as she cleaned her glasses on her apron and I didn't need to see her expression to notice the wave of sadness that washed over her face.

She shook her head. "Anyway, it's simply lovely to finally officially meet you in person, Sweetheart." Mrs Khanna smiled again. "Rowan always spoke so highly of you."

She touched my cheek and I gulped, biting back the urge to cry. "I'm so sorry …" I stammered, bowing my head. "Its all my fault and I …"

"Nonsense," replied Rowan's father. "Dumbledore told us everything."  
I looked up at him and immediately saw the family resemblance. Mr Khanna had the same dark almond eyes like his daughter, and, just like his wife also wore glasses that were even in the similar frame-style as Rowan's …

The man smiled, dimpling as he ran a hand over his brackish-grey balding hair before readjusting his glasses – one of Rowan's many nervous tendencies that made my chest burn with heartache all over again.

"Oh, I bet you two are simply starving after your trip," chatted Mrs Khanna.

Her husband nodded. "I always said that the Knight Bus should provide better catering," he agreed. "I think that I might have insulted the bus driver once when I asked if they had a menu …"

"And you brought your school trunks with you, how lovely …"

"Um … Actually, Mrs Khanna … this trunk isn't ours … it's Rowan's." Charlie managed, quickly averting his eyes to the forest floor.

Mrs Khanna frowned, "Then what's the other …" It took a few long seconds of silence before it suddenly dawned upon her and she gasped.

"Is … is that?"

The witch crept up towards the casket, her lower lip trembling as she reached out to touch its lid …

"My baby," she whispered, running a palm over the polished wood before retracting it just as quickly as if she'd been burnt.

"I'll get Ollie to help me take it in," Mr Khanna grunted, his Adam's apple throbbing as he squeezed her shoulder. "Why don't you lead them up to the house."

"Yes," stammered Mrs Khanna, her voice wobbling as she took a handkerchief out from the pocket of her flowery apron to dab at her still swollen eyes. "Follow me, dears."

* * *

"Oh, this is Ashok, our youngest boy," said Mrs Khanna, gesturing to the boy who was hiding behind the counter. "Ashok, say hello."

Rowan's brother stared at us, ducking behind the bench so that we could only see his dark brown eyes. He couldn't have been much older than ten.

"Are _you_ the one that got my sister killed?" he asked.

"Ashok Khanna!" His mother whirled around before I even had the chance to respond, her throat swelling like a bullfrog, "I will hear no such disrespect from you, understand?"

"But it's true though, innit?" he grumbled solemnly.

"That's quite enough young man!" Mrs Khanna snapped, "Go to your room!"

Ashok flashed us another venomous glare before he stormed upstairs.

"I'm so sorry about that," the witch apologised profusely, "Ashok is usually so sweet. I honestly don't know what's gotten into that boy recently …"

"Give the lad a break," another man replied as he came in through the backdoor. "It's barely been a week since we broke the news to him." He beamed, "Pleasure to meet you two. The name's Oliver Khanna."

He reached out to shake both of our hands.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr Khanna," said Charlie.

The man grimaced, "Merlin, I _hate_ it when people call me that. Sounds so old and formal – just call me Uncle Ollie, alright?"

We nodded.

"And you must be the young Curse-breaker that I've heard so much about," he said, looking me from head-to-toe. "My niece used to rattle on and on about you all summer." He smiled, "By the sounds of things you've certainly had your share of adventures …"

_That was certainly one way to put it_.

"Would you like some tea, Oliver?" offered Mrs Khanna conversationally, "I can get the house-elf to brew another pot …"

* * *

"_Are you the one that got my sister killed?"_

I replayed those words over and over again in my mind.

Wasn't it true though? If I hadn't gone into the Forbidden Forest that night wouldn't Rowan be here, _alive_, rather than dead in a coffin on the outside veranda? And then there was that look that Rowan's brother had given me when he first saw me.

I was brought back to reality by the feeling of something large and fluffy leaping onto my lap.

"Why hello," I said, looking down to see an oversized orange cat blinking back at me. "You must be Fuzzclaw."

Fuzzclaw let out a short meow, purring as he nuzzled himself against my thigh.

"I can see why Rowan used to day-dream about you in class … you must miss her too, huh?" I hesitated, grief surging through my chest as I bit back a quiet sob.

The feline batted at my woollen sweater, almost as if to try and comfort me before looking up at me with intelligent yellow eyes.

I smiled.

"Thanks, Fuzzclaw."

* * *

"Everybody, get changed. We'll be having the ceremony shortly," announced Mr Khanna as he came back inside.

"Changed?" Charlie cocked his head to the side.

"Into your dress robes," Uncle Ollie explained, "You _did_ bring dress robes, didn't you?"

"Right … clothes," Charlie murmured, rubbing the back of his neck as he let out an embarrassed groan, "I _knew_ we'd forgotten something …"

"Not to worry," Mrs Khanna chirped, "I'm sure Ollie has something in your size." She smiled before she turned to face me, "And we have plenty of nice dresses that would simply look amazing on you, Sweetheart."

Charlie and I both exchanged looks with one another.

"_What do you think?"_ he seemed to ask.

I shrugged, "Well … I suppose it couldn't hurt …"

"Excellent! Uncle Ollie will get you sorted while we go upstairs," Rowan's mother beamed, seizing me by the hand before she led me out of the living room.

* * *

"Wait … it this?" My voice snagged in my throat as Mrs Khanna led me into a large bedroom.

"I don't think I've been in here since we heard," she nodded, murmuring mainly to herself as she rifled through her daughter's closet.

"Hmm … this one would be nice …" hummed the witch as she came across a small long-sleeved black lace dress and brought it out to examine. Morning light filtered through the dusty curtains, highlighting the dress' intricate lacework as I slipped it on and Mrs Khanna nodded approvingly, but I could tell that she was only partially present in the moment.

"Uh … Mrs Khanna?"  
"Yes, dear?"

"Is there … something you wanted to ask me?"

She blinked before her expression eventually fell, "Is it really that obvious?"

The witch smiled rather self-deprecatingly and let out a long sigh.

"I know that you've probably heard this question a million times and _Merlin_ knows I shouldn't be asking you this but … is it true that you were there when she …"

_Died_, went the unsaid.

I nodded, lowering my head as she sank onto Rowan's bed.

"I … it all happened so fast," I whispered.

Mrs Khanna pursed her lips.  
"And … do you think that she felt any pain?"

It was clearly a question that had been weighing on her mind for a while now.

"It was the Killing Curse, Honey," Mr Khanna answered, suddenly appearing in the doorway before I had the chance to even think of a response. "It's painless. Instant …" his eyes clouded over as he trailed off for a moment before shaking his head, "Anyway, I just came up to tell you that we're all ready and waiting for you downstairs."

"Oh, of course," Mrs Khanna managed a very watery smile as she nodded.

* * *

"Are those?"

I nodded as he blinked, looking me down from head-to-toe before lending me a gentle smile. He reached over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"It looks nice."

"Thanks," I murmured. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Charlie had kept his black school pants and shoes, only replacing his white long-sleeved shirt with a black buttoned-up one instead. Somehow, Uncle Ollie had managed to coax his nephew into adopting the same colour scheme ("I think rainbow's still better," he grumbled) and he, Mr Khanna and his son all wore matching black dress robes.

Mrs Khanna had changed into a long black dress with billowing sleeves that rolled out in smooth velvet. Even the house-elf had changed its apron from white to black as it shuffled behind us whilst we stepped back outside into the forest clearing, where Rowan's coffin lay.

Sunlight filtered through the towering Wiggentrees as we approached, shining crimson off its mahogany lid. Silence hung thick in the air as we all gathered around the casket, our movements slow and heavy. It seemed that every creature had come to the clearing: Bowtruckles leaning forward on their branches and fairies flittering over our heads; their wings shimmering like diamonds.

"There's still so much that we never got to tell you … that I, never got to tell you." Mr Khanna murmured. "I never got to tell you to be quiet on your first sleepover or embarrass you in front of your friends. I never got to talk about all the odd little things that you used to get up to around the farm or give you a stern talking to on your first night out, and, I never got to tell you how proud I was of the brave young witch you'd become …" he trailed off, turning to look at his wife who shook her head before looking at me.

I blinked, taken back by the silent request and Charlie squeezed my hand. His touch, as always, filled me with strength and I took in a deep breath before I finally spoke.

"Rowan Khanna was the first friend that I'd ever made. I still remember the day that we met in Diagon Alley. We bonded over our love for books at Flourish and Blotts … she always said that she wanted to become the youngest professor to ever teach at Hogwarts when she grew up, then, after purchasing my wand she told me all about the different properties of acacia wood. She was my best friend … there with me from the very start. I thought I was the one who was protecting her but it was actually the other way around. All this time, she was protecting me from the sidelines, even when I wasn't aware of it and I miss her so much …" I faltered, my voice shaking as I felt a tear streak it's way down my cheek. "Rowan always seemed to shine so brightly like a light in the darkness, and I'm so grateful to have known that and felt her light in my life."

I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to continue as everybody bowed their heads taking turns in saying their last goodbyes to a girl whose life had been cut far too short and far too fast. Then, Mr and Mrs Khanna both raised their wands, slowly lowering the coffin down into the earth where it landed with a definite thud before slowly covering it back up with dirt.

A slab of marble soon erected itself out of the ground, glowing white so I could see the intricately carved writing:

_Rowan Khanna (1972 – 1990)_

_A loving friend, sister and daughter_

'_May she continue to shine as a beacon of hope through the darkness till the very end.'_

* * *

_Now that one was longer, wasn't it? I thought that Dumbledore would allow the MC to travel back with Rowan's body seeing as she was her closest friend, and, I decided to add Charlie because why the heck not? _

_I really hope that you guys enjoyed this little eulogy for our dear friend. I'm not sure whether I'll add more chapters to this story as I'm quite happy with the way I left things off but let me know if you think differently. _

_As always, don't forget to favourite, review and follow! _

_Yours truly,_

_Sword Gold_


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